Saturday, July 17, 2010

My Kids Are the Greatest!

Okay, so last night I got the mother of all migraines.
It hit me so hard right after dinner that I felt dizzy
and nauseated and like a giant railroad spike had been
rammed right next to my left nostril up through my eye
and poked out of this before unseen throbbing vein in
the center of my forehead.

I tried tylenol by the handful and water and mint tea
and sprite to keep the nausea at bay. Nothing worked.
So after 6 hours of agony, I opted to just stop "being
a man"about the nausea and puked my brains out. At least
my stomach felt better. I showered and went to bed.

Somehow my kids actually EMPATHIZED and left me alone
today. Only a few interruptions, usually involving "May
we have money?" questions to buy tea biscuits for break-
fast and later for some cheese so they could have sand-
wiches. Then Mohamed came in and told me that it was
now 2:30pm and they were really hungry. I told him I was
still sick and I'd try and get up and make some soup.
He told me he'd cook if I told him how. So I gave him
recipe and he wrote it down and gave his younger brothers
money. They went down and bought some zucchini and
potatoes and parsley. Ismail chopped the vegetables
while Hamo got the meat and onions browned. And then
Ismail went ahead and peeled 2 or 3 more potatoes and cut
them into sticks so that we could make french fries for
Randa. (She only eats crunchy food.)

Samiya mopped the bathroom floor and Randa brought all
of the clean laundry in off the clothesline, folded it
and put it away. When I finally got up around 3:30pm,
the soup was finished and I had a cup of coffee and
made a pot of rice and Randa's french fries. Then we
ate dinner together and Samiya washed the dishes without
being asked. AND there were hardly any fights or teasing
today and very little backtalk. Samiya and Ismail and Aiman
made fried egg sandwiches for supper.

My headache is almost gone and my heart is happy. Clearly
I am doing something right by these kids. They are awesome.
And I am blessed to be their mother.

Monday, July 5, 2010

I've Got the Teen-Raising Blues

The funk is back. I could blame it on the geography,
but that would be dishonest. The truth is that I am
the mother of two teenagers and one 11-yr old who
started puberty early. (Lucky, lucky me.) THAT is
about 90% of my blue mood right there. The other 10%
has more to do with the fact that my husband and I
are living on opposite sides of the world...again. I
don't know. Maybe I should switch those numbers. Maybe
my problem is 10% teenagers and 90% not getting any.
I mean,really...I could probably better deal with the
teenagers if I had a really good release system...
which at present I don't. Well, yeah, I know. I COULD
drink. Except that it's against my religion. And it's
a bad example to these rotten ass humans I call teens.
I don't think I can tell them not to use drugs and
drink as a means to escape and have it be remotely
credible when all the words are coming out slurred and
interrupted by giggling and occasional belching.
Because LET ME ASSURE YOU, if I were to fall off the
wagon at this point, I would TOTALLY roll right into
a liquor store and remain drunk for the next 10 years.
Yes. That's correct. TEN YEARS, Baby. Because it'll be
that long before all five of my kids are out of their
teen years. And that would be one helluva hangover,
don't ya think?
So, I grit and bear it. And I blog. And enjoy little
tiny fantasies throughout the day that involve teenage
kids with severe cases of laryngitis that last weeks at
a time where I don't have to hear things like, "I hate
you!", "Whatever!", or "No, FAKELY!" which is usually
in response to the question "Oh, really?"
I'm sure one day it will all be worth it. I'll get my
MOTY award and be crowned Most Awesome Sober Mother
and write a book and be interviewed by Oprah after she
reads my autobiography with her book club: LOSING MY
Other Money-Saving Tips for the Birth Control Challenged)
In the mean time, I'll just have to work out a little
more frequently after reaching for that comfort food!