So, I'm sitting on the couch watching t.v. because that's what I do best lately: Sit, sweat, hold down the couch while I stare blankly at the television screen wishing that Hell would just hurry up and freeze over (and by that I meant that it would just friggin' snow here in Egypt now in July!) I ordinarily don't like those shows like Dr. Oz or "the Drs." because I find them sort of knee-jerkish and sensational....like that "truth in advertising" thing that Dudley Moore's character did in that movie "Crazy People"....where they ran an ad for Metamucil and it said: Metamucil: It helps you go to the toilet. If you don't use it, you'll get cancer and die.
And then there's a run on all the local pharmacies and Metamucil of course sells out completely.
I don't like being told that if I don't use really strong anti-bacterial soaps that I will get some flesh-eating bacterial disease that will cause my skin to fall off my body and I shouldn't worry about how strong the anti-bacterial soap is and how it causes my skin to get really ridiculously dry and I can always slather up with this fantastic lotion after I wash my hands. Of course, this would be followed by an episode of poisonous hand lotions and how they cause cancer.
But my daughter fell asleep clutching the remote control with a kung-fu death grip and it was just far too hot to take those 5 steps across the living room to change the channel so I left it on. And I watched Dr. Oz's Transformation Nation and they gave some guy $1 million because he'd lost so much weight. I think it was a little bit rigged. You know, who has the bigger sob story to go with their weight loss. Because this guy was apparently a donor match for his wife who has lupus and needs one of his kidneys. I was much more impressed with the woman in her 50's who lost 91 pounds after some bitch stewardess humiliated her on an airplane by yelling up the aisle to another flight attendant: HEY CAROL! WE NEED A SEATBELT EXTENDER BACK HERE!
Whatever. Dude won the money and now they can pay for the kidney transplant surgery. Good for them. And great for all those people who lost weight. And then I read about my friend, Holly (because, yeah, I consider you my friend) and how she decided to try Crossfit training at her gym. (Holly has been blogging about her amazing weight loss journey and how she's lost 170 lbs! She is amazing! And you can read about her BY CLICKING RIGHT HERE ON THIS LINK! )
Anyway, I am unhappy. I am overweight. I am sick of being really sweaty and hot all the time. I'm ready for air conditioning and living in a house with a yard. I can't do much to change any of that right now. But I can change the overweight thing. And while that will lead to me being really sweatier and hotter, it may lead to me being happier due to the weight loss and endorphins released by exercise. It is simply a matter of choice.
(And maybe investing in Depends because let's face it: exercise-induced incontinence is kinda funny on other people but really kinda humiliating when it's happening to you.) I GOT THIS.
And then there's a run on all the local pharmacies and Metamucil of course sells out completely.
I don't like being told that if I don't use really strong anti-bacterial soaps that I will get some flesh-eating bacterial disease that will cause my skin to fall off my body and I shouldn't worry about how strong the anti-bacterial soap is and how it causes my skin to get really ridiculously dry and I can always slather up with this fantastic lotion after I wash my hands. Of course, this would be followed by an episode of poisonous hand lotions and how they cause cancer.
But my daughter fell asleep clutching the remote control with a kung-fu death grip and it was just far too hot to take those 5 steps across the living room to change the channel so I left it on. And I watched Dr. Oz's Transformation Nation and they gave some guy $1 million because he'd lost so much weight. I think it was a little bit rigged. You know, who has the bigger sob story to go with their weight loss. Because this guy was apparently a donor match for his wife who has lupus and needs one of his kidneys. I was much more impressed with the woman in her 50's who lost 91 pounds after some bitch stewardess humiliated her on an airplane by yelling up the aisle to another flight attendant: HEY CAROL! WE NEED A SEATBELT EXTENDER BACK HERE!
Whatever. Dude won the money and now they can pay for the kidney transplant surgery. Good for them. And great for all those people who lost weight. And then I read about my friend, Holly (because, yeah, I consider you my friend) and how she decided to try Crossfit training at her gym. (Holly has been blogging about her amazing weight loss journey and how she's lost 170 lbs! She is amazing! And you can read about her BY CLICKING RIGHT HERE ON THIS LINK! )
Anyway, I am unhappy. I am overweight. I am sick of being really sweaty and hot all the time. I'm ready for air conditioning and living in a house with a yard. I can't do much to change any of that right now. But I can change the overweight thing. And while that will lead to me being really sweatier and hotter, it may lead to me being happier due to the weight loss and endorphins released by exercise. It is simply a matter of choice.
(And maybe investing in Depends because let's face it: exercise-induced incontinence is kinda funny on other people but really kinda humiliating when it's happening to you.) I GOT THIS.
